


Murder Doll

by TrashAYfanfiction



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Introspection, M/M, Prequel, Private Opinoin, Spoilers, Young ash lynx
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-07
Updated: 2018-11-07
Packaged: 2019-08-20 00:57:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16545737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrashAYfanfiction/pseuds/TrashAYfanfiction
Summary: Blanca: Sergei VarishkovAsh is 14 when they meet. Blanca had mixed feelings. It was strange to have mixed feelings when you no longer felt anything.





	Murder Doll

**Author's Note:**

> Putting the new ED RED by Survive Said the Prophet on repeat. 
> 
> Not edited as much as I should have.

                “I’m just a killer,” Blanca overlooked the mansion’s grounds.

                “You are the best,” Golzine clapped a hand on his back, guiding him out to the garden, “I would like you to train him,”

                Blanca had never had a pupil before. Understudies, yes, but he had been too valuable to hinder with a pupil of such a young age. He wasn’t surprised Golzine asked him though. The cute blonde had become part of the old man’s life, attending meetings with him and trips; he was already being groomed in a way that no other pet had been. This pet was special somehow. The sharp look in it’s green eyes stabbed at his soul. It was a vicious wild animal. Golzine had a taste for exotic unruly things.

                Blanca had never expected to train a prostitute -ever. Honestly, he looked down on sex workers and Dino’s pets. At best he had pitied their existence. Most of the time he saw them as tools to be used. He had bought his fair share of girls…. He enjoyed himself. They served their purpose. He had never seen them as people.

In his line of work he tried not to see most things as people.

For a little over a year he knew what it felt like to have emotions. It only lasted a year though.

After his wife died, he didn’t think he was capable of seeing things as people again.

He didn’t know why Ash was any different, he wasn’t. Blanca himself had trained from a young age to become a killer. Ash was fourteen. Ash was older than he was when he began. No longer a child, already a killing machine. Ash was no different from anybody else he’d trained.

The initial mock wargame taught him what he needed to know about Ash. Fierce intelligence only until motivated by his emotions. Frustrate him, and he lashes out irrationally. Blanca would need to teach him not to do that. The kid wasn’t entirely stupid with his feelings, these emotions seemed to be what got him so far….. but if the boy ever had something to protect…. If he ever fell in love…… That would surely kill him. The only reason he got this far by prioritizing himself and sheer dumb luck.

Blanca wasn’t surprised about the story of Ash’s first murder. Barely any planning, but enough self-awareness that he knew his odds. Rage had overpowered him, forcing him to act. The boy had no fear of death, only a fear of living in pain. He was glad the boy didn’t want to die.

Ash was more than willing to put himself in danger to risk getting a good hit in. Ash was fiery, but he knew he had to wait for the opportunity to strike back. All his life he had been gambling on hits, Blanca needed to teach him what to do when luck ran out. Otherwise the boy would go down in flames, burn out.

That fire was his greatest strength and weakness. He was good at winning the battle, he even understood not all battles could be won, but he didn’t know how to win the war. Ash wasn’t running headfirst into death, but he wasn’t giving in either. He was a survivor, despite that he had nothing to survive for. Ash would always be fighting: he didn’t know how to do anything else. He had no goal, no plan for himself of what he wanted after.

Blanca wondered if he didn’t want the war to be won, because he couldn’t imagine anything after.

He would make a good assassin. Blanca regretted thinking it. Very few made it out alive.

When he found Ash in Marvin’s shady hotel and the boy had a panic attack; he didn’t know how many years it had been since he held another living body against his with the intention to comfort. If he really wanted to help Ash he should wrap his hands around that skinny little throat and put him out of his misery.

Golzine wouldn’t like that very much, so he avoided it. Sparing a boy wasn’t worth getting the whole mafia on his tail. Ash was a commodity, like anything else.

The numbness to the world needed to function couldn’t be healthy. Even when he had is wife, he doubted he had been a good partner. All of his human interactions were fake.

This boy would always be at Golzine’s mercy. Even if Ash rose up and killed him, he would never escape. There would always be someone after him for killing a mob boss. But after Ash cried to him in that hotel room, he had no doubts the youth would try.

The child would fight to the best of his ability. Maybe that’s why Blanca said yes. ………………………………………………………………………………………….

They trained intensively for two years. Strategy, hand to hand combat, proficiency in several different weapons. Ash would need all the help possible in getting himself out. He nagged the boy about his need to bulk up. “Looking like a victim will only help a spy,” Blanca told him, “Dino want’s you as an enforcer.”

Ash laughed, a mirthless sound. Telling him he would look like a victim whether he liked it or not, and Dino would like him less the more he looked like a man. “You don’t want me to lose the only reason I’m special, right?”

                Blanca told him he needed to eat. He had noticed that Ash carefully monitored his calorie intake, and in times of extreme stress, refused to eat at all. Blanca assumed this was because that was the only thing Ash had control of in his life. He wouldn’t take that from him, even if it did interfere with their training. But he chided the boy for his lack of stamina. Even if Ash didn’t want to deal with the eating issue directly, he would find a way around it.

He understood it limited him….. like that stupid revolver Ash insisted on a few years later after becoming a marksman. The reload time was inefficient compared to other models, and it held few bullets, “Don’t want to kill too many people too fast,”

                He couldn’t help but crack a smile, “Child, that is entirely what we want you to do, end situations quickly. If I recall you hated learning to kill one person slowly,”

                Ash’s face grimaced at the memory. Torture had made him queasy. Blanca had taken him with him for a ‘real’ assignment…… Ripping out the man’s nails one by one with pliers until he told the truth, the whole truth, and was sure it was accurate.  Cracking the man’s teeth with pliers after…. Once the information was extracted and Blanca ‘just wanted to see if Ash could do it’. The boy was white as a ghost.

                The look of fear in the man’s eyes. The shock and attempt at a mercy connection when he realized how young Ash was.

                This ordeal went on for hours…….

                This was not one of the perverts he slept with. Ash could have easily done these things to one of the perverts…….  

 

                Blanca treated Ash like training a woman instead of a child. A child soldier would grow up into an intimidating man….. If they lived that long. But a woman would always be smaller and weaker. She would be the victim, but she could play as the victim with her cunning.

Ash was already able and willing to use his wiles to his advantage, Blanca knew this from their first meeting.

                Still…. he felt bad encouraging someone so young to seduce their target. He didn’t know he was capable of that feeling anymore. He didn’t know if it would be different if Ash really was a woman. He had never trained a woman…… Maybe he would be just as protective of her as he was of this child.

                Unlikely. He would probably seduce her himself if he found her attractive. Manipulate her emotions into being an even more cold and fierce warrior. Ash was already at that point, he didn’t need to. Not that he had a taste for young boys anyway. He would look the other direction when Golzine……

                He shuddered.

Blanca was more protective of Ash than a woman trainee. He had no desire to seduce Ash.

                Not protective, he warned himself, the child was Golzine’s property. His protectiveness only went as far as the contract. Ash would probably die in a year or two anyways. He would make it a better couple of years. Nothing would make it good…..

 

In that time Blanca felt the closest he ever had to human. Maybe even closer than his wife, because he was forced to share the harsh realities of his work to prepare the other. With his wife, he made excuses about what he’d been doing; she was sweet and normal, and would still love him, but she didn’t need to see….. He specifically called Ash over to see the most gruesome aspects of the work. Disposing bodies. Unexpected murder weapons. The boy already was brutal and resourceful, but he needed to be honed.

Anyone could be honed into this job, he didn’t think it took talent, just being willing to abandon your humanity.

But that thinking probably enforced the idea that he and Ash were talented. Killing came naturally……

He didn’t think of Ash like a son. If he was a real father he would have killed any man who showed him these things and did to Ash what Dino, Marvin, and Marvin’s men did to him on a regular basis….. though less often at the end of the two years.

Blanca had taught him to curb his harsh temper and sharp tongue. He didn’t get raped as a ‘punishment’ anymore.

Ash was still pretty, but he had gotten older. He attracted a different clientele now. Dino’s possessiveness of him had only grown. He was now a different kind of asset. Still rented out to the highest paying clients as a sample of the ‘luxury’ goods, or sent as a sign of good faith, but now as a ‘companion’ to Dino. An associate.

Ash told him didn’t want to be associated with any of this. He yelled at the frustration of being a tool to be used.

Blanca told him most people were tools to be used, and Ash believed him for a time… until some loud Chinese kid, a year later told him otherwise.  ….now _that_ was an interesting conversation with Ash yelling and screaming and saying that Blanca lied to him.

Ash always shared too much. He knew Blanca wasn’t his friend, but he was desperate for someone, anyone in his life. ….that desperation grabbed at Blanca in ways that other desperate victims begging for their lives hadn’t. Maybe it was because Ash didn’t expect mercy, he just wanted something for now.

That’s what Blanca found interesting about the boy. There were small flickers of humanity in between that emotionless rationality. Flickers that Blanca had long since grown out of by the time he was Ash’s age.

Perhaps that’s why Blanca could read him so easily years later. Knowing the boy was in love without saying anything. He was always surprised that Ash’s desperation didn’t lead him to abusive boyfriends who were just as manipulative as Dino. An abusive boyfriend would have an easy time. Blanca could have easily manipulated the kid to his own will.

Ash was cold and guarded and vicious, but he was a survivor. His instincts were strong, despite not knowing how to escape, he wouldn’t make his situation worse.

Blanca had mixed feelings. It was strange to have mixed feelings when you no longer felt anything.

Ash talked in his sleep. Sometimes Ash cried.

He felt bad for the child he was turning into a murderer. A killing machine, a weapon…. Who was still a pretty fleshlight for a disgusting older man.

Ash never told him what his dreams were about. It probably wasn’t any worse than real life, so there was no point. Ash knew dreams couldn’t hurt you.

……………………………………..

Over their two years, Ash never tried to seduce him. He assumed it would be tried when Golzine first mentioned the boy’s track record: Five teachers, ranging from a twenty-five-year-old male to a forty-two year old woman. 

After their first meeting Ash must have known he wasn’t dumb enough to fall for such trickery. He’d read Ash like a book and it scared the boy. Nobody before had acknowledged him as a human enough to give the insight that Blanca had.

He taught Ash to walk that line; that seeing someone as a human really meant nothing. Humans were nothing. Acknowledging their hopes and dreams, wants and needs, fears and hesitations was all part of learning to get information.

That reasoning worked until Ash met another Asian boy, who changed him. No, not changed. Ash was the one trying his best to change for this boy. Ash had always had the capacity for the emotions this boy brought.

Ones who’s intuition truly a thing of wonder. Someone who saw through the murder doll that had been created. Seeing down to the terrified little boy underneath the mask, and attempting to help.

He wished he had the capacity to help, for once in his life.

But he was just a killer. It was too late for him, but maybe not yet too late for Ash.

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t know if I like this fic. It doesn’t seem to go anywhere, but I suppose most of my fics don’t go anywhere; they are just character (development? Elaboration?). I wish I could write action fics with plot….. 
> 
> I haven't posted in a hot second. I'm still working on my BF crossover audience essay.


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